Monday 10 February 2014

New! Top Tens- My Top 10 (Un)Intentionally Annoying Literary Characters

Hi everyone and welcome to the newest post on the good ship Beth'n'Brown...

Like everything else about our lovely blog at the moment, this is new.
We're going to do a Top Ten every so often about literary stuff!
Whether it's about characters, books, film adaptations or whatever we can think of next,this is a little insight into the workings of our minds...

So, down to it then. This week is a staple category: Top 10 (Un) Intentionally Annoying Literary Characters.
I say (un)intentional because whilst some achingly irritating characters are intended to be and are therefore successfully written to be so, there are just some characters who are irritating anyway, even though the author may not have intended it. They are probably the worst... but anyway...

My list goes from most to least annoying due to the fact that the characters at the beginning of the list either realise their mistakes and try to change their ways, or are intentionally written to be irritating and so you could say, we love to hate them. Spoilers alert!

10. Gilbert Markham- The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Brontë
       This character as the main male protagonist of the story is just your average young, cocky guy who gets bowled over by the mysterious widow tenanting Wildfell Hall. However, his belief of awful lies spread about her by the jealous Annabel and his subsequent selfishness, narrow minded attitudes and jealousy just make him downright irritating. However, he soon mends his ways as he learns that his lady love, having nursed her abusive and alcoholic estranged secret husband on his deathbed, is back and now a single mother to an adorable child, he is ashamed of his mistakes, ultimately reconciles with her and becomes altogether less annoying.

9. Pip- Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
    Let's get this classic protagonist over and done with, seeing as he is often cited as one of the most annoying people in literature, despite the fact that Dickens probably didn't intend for readers to get as incensed by Pip as they do now. He's young, yes, and foolish and innocent at first and all protagonists, particularly in coming-of-age (or bildungsroman if you like being fancy) novels must go through a period of difficult change.However, that didn't mean he had to be so focused on being a gentleman to hurt his best friend Joe, assume arrogantly that his patron was eccentric Miss Havisham and be revolted at any opinions to the contrary and constantly moon after the horrible Estella. Get over it dude. (He does. Eventually.)
    
8. Mrs Bennet- Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
     Whilst Kitty and Lydia are the most embarrassing fictional sisters known to mankind, they don't have a patch on their mother. Written as irritating to the nth degree in private, embarrassing in public, grasping at suitors Bingley and Darcy like meal tickets for her girls and generally ticking everyone off within a thirty mile radius of Longbourn, Mrs Bennet wins the award for Most Annoying Fictional Mother. Written as a scathing indictment on her society, Ms. Austen's constructed object of annoyance is the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) from a host of skin-crawlingly awful characters carefully designed for readers to scoff at. Also, she is the Worst. Mother-in-Law. Ever. (Darcy really does love Elizabeth).

7. Edmund Pevensie/ Eustace Scrub- The Narnia series C.S Lewis
     Admittedly only the seventh most annoying on this list, but out of all the child characters that Lewis ever created, these two are particularly irritating. From their dogmatic inabiliy to accept the fantastcal world that the reader has already immersed themselves in to their spoiled brat attitudes seen the moment anyone tries to help them, Eustace and Edmund are the sceptics turned stroppy little gits that mostly serve to incense me. Thankfully they are reformed by the wild and enigmatic Aslan, so they both evolve following testing times in their stories. As characters, they represent changing attitudes of many people to religion and the acceptance of the seemingly impossible, so they serve as extra layers upon the themes of Christian allegory and childhood exploration, so maybe their irritating ways are not all that bad.  

6. Emma- Emma, Jane Austen
     She's a nosy, interfering, know-it-all who wants to matchmake everyone for her own pleasure, despite never having been in a relationship herself. You'd think this is annoying enough, as she blunders her way through her friend Harriet's feelings and refuses to stop meddling even after her best (and much wiser) friend Mr Knightley warns her to stop with her games. But it's her position as the central character that just exposes how much of stupid smart person she is. She's intelligent, she's definitely a Sassy Independent Woman who don't need no man, which is great and future heroines could definitely learn from that (ahem, Bella). However she is so blind to her own ego I often end up screaming at the page in exasperation, hoping that this will somehow stop her from being careless with other people's feelings. Austen herself said that Emma was the heroine she didn't like, so I admire the effort in achieving a character who is by turns arrogant, vulnerable and totally blind to her own feelings, but ultimately becomes a wiser person by the end. Kudos, Ms Austen.

5. Robert Frobisher- Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell
     One character among many in this multi-stranded narrative, Frobisher stands out in the book as the Man Who Constantly Shoots Himself In The Foot (metaphorically speaking). Adultery with your boss' wife, followed by yet more infidelity with her daughter whilst secretly loving your boss, who you betrayed by sleeping with his wife in the first place? Cause that's not weird and incredibly idiotic. It's a lesson to us all: when you live with your boss' family, keep it in your pants.

4. Viserys Targaryen- A Game of Thrones, from A Song of Ice and Fire series, George R.R. Martin
     Mercifully, we aren't subjected to this stupid ass for too long, but as I inch along in my quest to finally finish A Song of Ice and Fire series, there are few people who irk me more. Whilst Joffrey will insist on being a spoilt brat of a tyrant, he is so evil and stupid that I wait in a delayed state of glee at his comeuppance. Viserys thankfully gets his and his control over Danerys is finished, setting her off towards the great badassery that she does so well. However, Danerys is haunted by her brother after his demise, attempting to remember him in his better moments. When I am told what better moments he ever had I could maybe feel some sympathy at his horrible death.


3. Bella Swann- Twilight, Stephanie Meyer
    She's annoying. This book is annoying and all the hype around this book is annoying. Why does she pretty much exist to have a choice between boyfriends, both of whom are also annoying? The films are even worse. She should tell 'em to go take their sparkly skinned stalker / overly whitened teeth and seemingly constant need to be shirtless idiocy elsewhere. However, the poor quality of the writing is the main reason why I don't like this book- it's an overrated bad example of YA fiction, a genre already prejudiced against by critics and literary types, and it serves to increase their viewpoint. Bella as a character just gets swept up in this and is lost as a boring main character. And that's the most annoying thing about her- she's boring.

=1. Holden Caulfield- Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
      A classic for all those experiencing teenage angst and in need of a good dose of alienation. Yes, he's a figure of teenage rebellion and we all enjoy a bit of questioning the establishment, exposing the true nature of society, all that stuff. But does it have to be so irritating in the process? I know Caulfield speaks using the slang of youth at the time and that's not what bothers me; it's the endless repetition, the scattergun effect that his words have on the narration. I like a good bit of pace and a strong narrative voice, but his attempts to continually be outside the establishment, coupled with his antagonistic behaviour that keeps causing trouble for him and his seemingly continuous need to say 'and hell/phony/crumby/give her the time' are all so irritating that it's hard to be sympathetic when he is in trouble, and you really need that, especially with a story line as bleak as his.

=1. Hamlet- Hamlet, William Shakespeare 
      Along with Caulfield, Hamlet is one of the characters in literature often considered to be annoying. I couldn't decide which was more irritating out of the two and one of the top reasons is that both of these characters were not primarily created to be annoying, but have turned out to be so. I'm not sure whether it's the passage of time tinting my judgement on these two period characters, but Hamlet's inability to MAKE A DECISION, not have scary Oedipal-like thoughts towards his mum and generally try to understand and sympathise with people a little better ( he doesn't even seem to care about Ophelia's suicide), surely transcends the ages. As two very famous figures in literature, (Hamlet in particular), they get over analysed, but there are plenty other (far less annoying) characters to enjoy. Just please stop inflicting these guys on us. Please.

1 comment:

  1. I agree with most of your choices - I can't comment on 5,4,&3 as I haven't read them - but Holden Caulfield goes straight to the top of my list. In the less PC world of the time Catcher in the Rye was written, I strongly believe he would have been improved by a good slap from time to time. I can feel my teeth starting to grind even as I just begin to think about him. If ever a book benefited from The Emperor's New Clothes Syndrome, surely this one was it.

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